Take 1 cup of butter. Find Tom's shoes. Melt butter, tie Tom's shoes. Spread peanut butter on 3 slices of bread for 3 small children. Rescue over brown butter from stove. Add 1 1/2 cups sugar to butter. Get 2 eggs and milk from refrigerator. Pour 3 glasses of milk to rinse down peanut butter. Wipe up first spilled glass. Mop up egg which rolled off counter and get another egg from refrigerator and add to butter and sugar.

Get small children interested in coloring and then spell words for first grader. Sift 2 1/2 cups flour with 1 teaspoon baking powder, 1 teaspoon baking soda and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Measure 1 cup oatmeal. Take marble out of baby's mouth. Ask someone if you added 1 or 2 cups of oatmeal.

Screaming may help at this point but it's time consuming. Find recipe in pile of drawings and continue. Measure 1 cup of corn flakes. Big children want to know if cookies are baked yet.

The dog, Moose, is in the way so remove to outside. Put batter in refrigerator to chill. Peel 3 oranges for children. Mop up counter, table, floor and cupboard doors. Moose is let in.

Remove batter and Moose's nose from refrigerator. Wash hands, drop cookies on pan, place in oven. Allow children to help drop cookies and forget blobs on floor, Moose will take care of them.

Repeat procedure until all are baked. At this point, mop up table, floor and counter. Be sure to have a holiday spirit. Smile! Make a mental note to start cookies after children are in bed next year.