1 med. sized elephant
2000 lbs. carrots
2000 lbs. potatoes
500 lbs. onions
Salt and pepper
1 rabbit; optional

Cut elephant into bite sized pieces (takes approximately 2 months). Dice vegetables (another 2 months). Cover meat with 2000 gallons of water and let simmer for 4 days. Shovel in salt and pepper to taste. Add vegetables (a dump truck is handy for this) and let cook until the tantalizing aroma overcomes you. Use tusks as garnish for your stew.

This serves 2, 800 people. If any uninvited guests show up, the rabbit may be added. This is not advisable however, since some people might be upset finding a hare in their stew.