1 elephant
2 c. salt
2 c. pepper
brown gravy
2 rabbits (optional)

Cut elephant into 1 inch cubes, frequently adding pinches of salt and pepper. (This should take about 72 days.) Add enough brown gravy to cover. Cook over kerosene fire for about 4 weeks at 465 degrees. If more than 3, 800 are expected, 2 rabbits may be added. (Do this only if necessary, as most people do not like to find hare in their stew.) Incidentally, you'll need your big pot for this!!