1 elephant, cut into 1 inch cubes

Be accurate! Use a ruler! Place cubes in a kettle container 2, 315 gallons of water. Simmer 3 days. Add 1/2 ton assorted vegetables. Do not use rutabagas. Rutabagas hate people, that's why they taste the way they do. Simmer 6 more days over low heat.

This recipe serves 3, 840 people. If more people are coming, add 2 rabbits. Do not add more as most people do not like to find hare in their stew.