1 possom
2 gallons water
12 pine cones
1 tbsp. chili powder
2 tbsp. garlic powder
2 tbsp. black pepper
Salt to taste
1 tbsp. red pepper

With your car, run over possom, skin if necessary, leave tail on. In large pot put possom and water. Bring to boil, add spices and pine cones. Simmer 3 hours. Drain off water onto flowerbed or garden, feed possom to dog. Eat pine cones.