1 med. size elephant
2000 lb. carrots
2000 lb. potatoes
500 lb. onions
1 rabbit; optional
Salt and pepper

Cut elephant into bite sized pieces (takes approximately 2 months). Dice vegetables (another 2 months). Cover meat with 2000 gallons of water, and let simmer for 4 days. Add vegetables (a dump truck is handy for this), and let cook until the tantalizing aroma overcomes you. Use tuck as garnish for you stew. This serves 2, 800 people. If any uninvited guests show up, the rabbit may be added. This is not advisable, however, since some people might be upset finding a hare in their stew.