HIPPOPOTAMUS STEW 
1 medium sized hippo
1 ton salt
Pepper, to taste
500 bushels potatoes
1000 gals. brown gravy
200 bushels carrots
400 sprigs parsley
2 small rabbits (optional)

Cut hippo meat into bite sized pieces. This will take about 2 months. Cut vegetables into cubes (another 2 months). Place meat into large pan and cover with gravy. Simmer for 4 weeks. Shovel in salt and pepper to taste. When meat is tender, add vegetables. A steam shovel is useful for this. Simmer slowly for 4 more weeks. Garnish with parsley.

Will serve 2,700 people. If more are expected, add 2 small rabbits - this is not recommended as very few people like hare in their stew.

recipe reviews
Hippopotamus Stew
 #9639
 Mike says:
Thank you!!! I was wondering what I was going to fix for Thanksgiving dinner this year! Now I know.
 #9652
 Margie says:
We had this last Mardi Gras. I was afraid the hippo would be hard to come by here on the gulf coast but we ordered it from a local speciality store. We omitted the salt & used Old Bay Seasoning and replaced the gravy with my grandmothers' roux recipe. It was fantastic! Oh and don't forget Bay leaf, about 25 pounds works great! Makes great leftovers too.
 #9698
 Fobus says:
I bet you could substitute a couple of large manatees for the Hippo and the stew would be just as good.
 #182044
 Trudy (Florida) replies:
Would that change the recipe to a Seafood stew?
   #183797
 Jeff Hagerman (Iowa) replies:
Use both for a lovely surf-n-turf!

I'm stymied by the best cheese pairing, though.
 #10455
 Jonathan says:
This was excellent, but personally I prefer to pre-cook the hippo. It cuts down on the preparation time by nearly a month! It's quite easy if you can find an old tanker car from your nearest abandoned railway station. Seal the hippo in the tanker (make sure it's clean first!), drive it into the coal storehouse, and light it up! By the time the coals have died down a week later, your hippo will be nicely roasted. Crack it open and everyone in your town will be salivating at the smell!
 #10495
 Anne says:
I love this dish, but have to avoid it because it seems to go straight to my hips.
 #10557
 Russ in Vermont says:
My mom used to use this recipe when we'd bring her a walrus. What kind of wine goes with hippopotamus?
 #10586
 wm1 says:
I used Moroccan hippo blend from an online spice company called Juliet Mae. It added a hint of both sweet and hot flavors and really holds up for the weeks of simmering. Try Juliet Mae Spices!
 #10653
 Cyndee says:
This dish freezes beautifully if you have leftovers (which I doubt).
 #10879
 Carrie says:
The best recipe I have ever come across. It is nice to make use of all the hippo's we have here in the west of Ireland. The Burren is full of them as the limestone offers good camoflage. The skin makes good badhrans too.
 #12041
 Nels says:
C'mon guys, anyone thats done hippo knows you make gravy from the drippings. Anyway I am toying with the idea of doing a hipcowpigturducken, any recipes?
 #12223
 Betty says:
We are getting a little tired of traditional foods with our latkes, this is a great alternative and a new tradition. I will add a ton of red pepper flakes to kick it up a notch!!!
   #183798
 Jeff Hagerman (Iowa) replies:
You found a source for Kosher hippo?!?
 #17085
 Sara says:
What kind of a wine would you recommend with this? Obviously we're talking a red here, but should I splurge on something nice or do you think something on the cheap side would do the trick?
 #190755
 Miss Karen (United States) replies:
Nah. Don't have wine. You need some good ol' white lighting with this dish. Everyone knows one of the good ol boys who can make the 'shine.
 #25092
 Allen (New Mexico) says:
Can't wait to try this recipe! I think it would go great with my 200 lbs of leftover couscous. However, I am having trouble thawing the frozen hippo. I took it out of the freezer two and a half months ago, put it in the fridge, but its rump is still frozen solid. I'd set it on the counter but I'm afraid it would spoil. Any suggestions?
 #27185
 Renae replies:
Hey Allen,

What's worked for me is cutting the Hippo in separate pieces as it thaws. Use a saw and a couple of friends to help you make the cut. Otherwise, you're right. It takes a few months to get the freeze out. Of course, it's always best when it's freshly killed. Hope that helps!
 #183799
 Jeff Hagerman (Iowa) replies:
MICROWAVE IT using the "thaw" setting. (...amateurs!)

Simply cut the meat off as it thaws and refrigerate.
If the stew foams when simmering then you might have a spoiled rump.
Add the equivalent of 3/4 of an orchard acre of lemon juice and about 6 pounds of lye (don't overdo the lye). The addition of the acid will (usually) kill the foam-causing bacteria.
Oh, don't forget to include approximately 3 gallons of lemon zest. It adds a festive tone and will reduce the cooking time by up to a week as it helps to break down the connective tissues.

Bon à petit! (No, that can't be right).

And as Julia Child reminds us,"Don't forget to save the liver for a lovely paaaaahhh...tè!"
   #186984
 Susan (Oregon) replies:
Are you lutefisking the hippo? The annual traditional dish that nobody eats.
 #33383
 David (California) says:
This recipe is excellent! My guests were very pleased to see how beautifully it all came out. I would suggest, though, to not add as much salt and reduce the amount to 3/4 ton. This brings out the natural flavor of the hippo much better.
 #34889
 Laura (Texas) says:
Holy-y'all serious? Almost every comment I read seem to have eaten this dish! Sheesh, there's no way I'll ever be havin' Hippo all the way here in Texas.
 #181604
 Merrilee (Florida) replies:
I love this! Thanks guys for the comical break in the boredom that is the hunt for a new and different dinner.
 #183800
 Jeff Hagerman (Iowa) replies:
Texas!?? 'Not a problem. I hear that Colombia is having a sale on Escobarian hippo. It's a little tougher than Asian hippo so, add 7-10 days to the simmer time.

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