2. Measure 1/2 cup shortening into bowl for creaming.

3. Answer the telephone.

4. Wash shortening from toddler's hair. Get broom and dust pan to sweep up remains of bowl that toddler has knocked on the floor.

5. Wipe shortening off the floor. Get a new bowl.

6. Repeat Step #2 and cream well.

7. Add 1 cup sugar gradually.

8. Go look for toddler who is not answering when you call.

9. Change his/her clothes-soaked from playing in the toilet.

10. Answer the door.

11. Remove two trucks from the mixing bowl and get out 2 eggs.

12. Answer the phone.

13. Wash off toddler's shoes and put on clean socks and sneakers, shoes are eggy - get another egg - mop floor.

14. Add eggs to batter, mix well after each addition.

15. Measure flour to sift with 1 tablespoon salt and 1 tablespoon baking powder. First locate sifter -- it was in the sandbox.

16. Measure 1/2 cup milk.

17. Wipe flour off toddler and measure enough to equal amount on the floor. Add more salt and baking powder. Sweet floor.

18. Measure more milk as he/she is drinking the other.

19. Add milk, beat in 1 tablespoon vanilla.

20. Get greased pans and find 1/2 inch of salt in bottom of each. Wash pans and regrease.

21. Get batter and discover that 1/2 of has been added to mix and stirred well.

22. Put toddler in for nap, turn off the oven and discard batter. Call bakery.

23. Take two aspirins and lie down!!!