Serves 3, 800 people. First you catch an elephant which may be difficult!

1 elephant (med. size)
2 rabbits (opt.)
Salt & pepper to taste
Brown gravy (lots)

Cut elephant into bite size pieces. This will take about 2 months. Reserve the trunk (you will need something to store the pieces in). Add enough brown gravy to cover. Cook over kerosene fire for about 4 weeks at 465 degrees. If more than 3, 800 people are expected, the 2 rabbits may be added, but do this only if necessary as most people don't like hare in their stew.