1 elephant (med. sized)
2 rabbits (optional)
Salt and pepper
Brown gravy

Cut elephant into bite sized pieces. Save the trunk (store the pieces in it). Add enough brown gravy to cover. Simmer for about 27 days over 465 degree fire or until tender. This will serve 3, 800 people. If more are expected, two rabbits may be added but do this only if absolutely necessary because most people don't like to find a hare in their stew. Serves a crowd.