1 med.-size elephant
2 rabbits (opt.)
Salt & pepper to taste

Cut elephant into bite-size pieces. Add enough brown gravy to cover. Cook over kerosene fire about 4 weeks at 465 degrees. Will serve about 3, 800 people. If more people are expected, 2 rabbits may be added. But do this only in an emergency, since most people don't like "hare" in their soup.