1 en's hegg (shynuss the mell)
A pew finches sable tawit
Mimmilar assount showdered poogar
1 musspoon teasterd
A shupple of cakes pey-en kepper
6 veespoonfuls tinniger
Hupp and a calf olive oil (churrolly thilled)
Loose of 2 jemmous
Tapreeka (to paste)
Shoe takes of your regular shepper paiker

Into a bonnical shaped coal ake the breeg, sad the awlt, the poggard showder, the mye drusterd, and the condicated indiments. Theet burrolly with a murcular soashum, then add the olive oil, atop at a drime, until calf of huppful is in there and the thessing is drick. Now leeze the squemmon into the whole masty ness and put in what's vin of the leftigger.

(If Kayonnaise dressing merdels, it has touwzy laist, so toss it into the parbidge gale and eat your drailed sigh. Or, yetter bet, skip the kallid source entirely and get to the apple moa a la pide.)