1 monkey gland
4 lg. steaks
3 black widow spiders
6 leaves from the Marula tree
Hair from lion's mane (optional)
Blood from python

1. Make fire. 2. Throw all ingredients except for steaks into black pot and allow to simmer for a couple of hours. 3. Cook steaks on fire. 4. Serve. ONLY KIDDING!!!!

GENUINE MONKEY GLAND STEAK:

4 tenderloin steaks

SAUCE:

3 chopped tomatoes
2 chopped onions
1 grated apple
2 tbsp. butter
1/2 c. tomato sauce (ketchup)
1/4 c. Worcestershire sauce
4 tsp. sugar
Salt
Pepper
1/2 tsp. red pepper (or more if you like it hot)
1 tbsp. lemon juice
1/2 c. red wine

1. Melt butter and fry onions. 2. Add tomatoes and apple to onions and let simmer. 3. Add rest of sauce ingredients and cook for 10 minutes. 4. Blend sauce ingredients. 5. Cook steaks on grill. 6. Serve sauce over steaks with salad and baked potatoes. 7. Enjoy with a chilled bottle of wine or some ice cold beers.