Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit, 1 slice whole wheat toast, dry, 8 oz. skim milk

Lunch: 4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast, 1 cup steamed spinach, 1 cup herb tea, 1 Oreo cookie

Mid-Afternoon Snack: Rest of the Oreos in the package, 2 pints Rocky Road ice cream, 1 jar hot fudge sauce, nuts, cherries, whipped cream

Dinner: 2 loaves garlic bread with cheese, large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza, 4 cans or 1 large pitcher beer, 3 MILKY WAY® candy bars

Late Evening News Snack: Entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from freezer

Rules For This Diet

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.

4. Food used for medical purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel, such as Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints and Tootsie Rolls.

7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

8. Things licked off of knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife while making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon while making a sundae.

9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate. Note: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.