1 c. butter
1 c. sugar
4 lg. eggs
1 c. dried fruit
1 c. brown sugar
1 c. nuts
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
Lemon juice
1 or 2 qts. whiskey

Before you start, sample the whiskey to check for quality; good, isn't it? Now, go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. It's a good idea to check the whiskey again, as it must be just right; to be sure it's of the highest quality; pour one level cup into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. With an electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add a teaspoon of thugar and beat again.

Meanwhile, make sure that the whiskey is of the fineth quality. Cry another tup. Open second quart, if necessary. Add two large leggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat until high. If druit gets stuck in beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey again, checking for tonscisticity. Then sift 3 cups of salt or anything, it really doesn't matter. Sample the chiskey. Sift 1/2 pint lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add on babblespoon of brown thugar, or whatever color you can find, and wix mell. Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 degrees. Now pour the whole mess into the coven and ake. Check the whithkey again, and bo to ged.