2 1/2 c. water
3 c. Splenda
3 tbsp. instant coffee crystals
1 tsp. vanilla
1 bottle (750 milliliters) 100-proof vodka (use the cheap stuff)

In a large pitcher or measuring cup, combine the water, Splenda, coffee crystals and vanilla. Stir until the coffee and Splenda are completely dissolved. Pour the mixture through a funnel into a 1.5 or 2 liter bottle. (A clean 1.5 liter wine bottle works fine, so long as you've saved the cork.) Pour in the vodka. Cork and shake well.

Yield: 32 servings of 1 1/2 ounces; a standard "shot."