1 med.-sized elephant
Brown gravy
2 rabbits (optional)
Salt and pepper

Cut elephant in small, bite sized pieces. (Allow lots of time for this step.) Save the trunk for storing your clothing and the tusks for hanging up your coats.

Find a large (very large) cooking pot, and place the cut up meat in the pot. Add enough brown gravy to cover. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Cook over a kerosene fire until tender (about 4 weeks) at 465 degrees.

This will serve 3, 800 people. If more are expected, add the rabbits. Do this only in case of an emergency, as most people do not like hare in their stew.