Before you start, sample the rum and check for quality. Good, isn't it? Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, must be just right. Try again. With an electric beater, beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again. Meanwhile, make certain that the rum is of best quality. Add 2 large eggs and 2 cups of baking powder, add a pinch of rum, 1 teaspoon soda, and 1 cup of pepper or maybe salt. Anyway, don't fret, just test that rum again. ZOWIE!!

Next, sift in half a pint of lemon juice, fold in chopped buttermilk and add strained nuts. Sample rum again. Add 1 tablespoon brown sugar or whatever color is around. Mix well. Grease oven and turn on cake pan to 350 degrees. Now pour the whole mixture into the oven and - - - oops! On second thought and also third and fourth, forget the cake. Check the rest of the rum and go to bed. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!