1 can of chile (without beans)
1 (8 oz.) slab of Philadelphia cream cheese

Open that dumb can, pour contents into one dumb pot (soften the cream cheese by either putting into microwave or into another stupid pot) and when soft put the dumb cream cheese into that dumb pot and...stir that sucker until it melts into a horrible looking, yucky mess, and viola the best dip you ever had in this cockeyed world.