1. Christmas Eve: THOROUGHLY thaw bird.

2. Christmas Morning: SLEEP IN.

3. Pour a few kettles of boiling water over bird, inside and out. Skin will shrink.

4. Run cold water inside and out and dry with paper towels.

5. Prepare as usual.

6. Use a rack to get it up off the pan.

7. Wings and thighs mustn't touch sides - use foil (not critical - we didn't bother).

8. Oil bird.

9. Make a close-fitting foil tent to completely seal bird in pan - it's the steam that cuts the cooking in half.

10. Nuke at 450 degrees for 15 minutes per pound. This is usually a maximum time. Twenty pounds would be 5 hours, but it might finish at 4 1/2, for example. Try 425 degrees if your oven runs hot.

11. Baste once at 1/2 hour before it's finished. Also remove foil and turn down to 350 degrees.

12. Do two more bastings.

13. Pull out and let sit for 20 minutes. Gnash in.

TIP: First time through, check at 1/2 time in case it's going faster than you expect.